Sunday, October 5, 2014

17 (And Counting) Ways To End Up In Kathy's Doghouse

(An update to this post)

Kathy, our director, is a kind, patient, and classy soul, but even she has her limits.  If you really want to get under her skin, here's how. This list will likely grow in saecula saeculorum.

  1. Don't show up for rehearsal or Mass without telling her.
  2. Don't review the music between rehearsals or before coming to Mass.
  3. Tell her she never gave you that piece of music . . . when she did.
  4. Tell her you can't show up for rehearsal or Mass just beforehand when you knew days or even weeks ago you wouldn't be there.
  5. Show up late for rehearsal or Mass with no good reason.
  6. Leave early with no good reason.
  7. Come to Mass without your music in order.
  8. Flip, flip, and flip some more through your music because it's not in order, especially when everyone else is ready to sing.
  9. Decide her beat is insufficient and maintain your own timing--or no timing at all.
  10. Keep your nose firmly inside your music at all times, ignoring her direction.
  11. Anticipate the "s" at the end or beginning of a phrase.
  12. Use the American "r", such as in "Glorrrrrrrria".
  13. Use the Fonzie-esque "ayyyy", such as in "Dayyyyy-ee" (Dei).
  14. Get louder on the upper note of a podatus.
  15. Get louder (and likely sharper) because you think everyone else is going flat and you're trying to "pull them up."
  16. Double the note on a punctum with a horizontal episema, a salicus, or a quilisma.
  17. Take breaths at every quarter bar, and only at every quarter bar, unless otherwise directed.
Add your own in the comments.

No comments:

Post a Comment